Extras for Vision Boards

I just came across these great blank checks to fill out to yourself or someone you feel might need it. Fill one out and have faith that you will be provided with what you need. Great for vision boards, prayers and meditations to ask for abundance to manifest in your life.

Have fun with it an give it a whirl, see if it works for you. No harm, no foul if it is done with the best intentions for all involved. We loose our games of pretend as we grow into adults and stop having faith and believing in the impossible.

You may even make a few bucks! Who knows. Children have such a vibrant energy because they believe in the unattainable. As adults we loose it, and we become stunted because we lack that great ballance of imagination with our realities.

Skipping the Middle Man

As adults we are faced with a vast amount of responsibility. It is often overwhelming and all-consuming at times. We live in a day and age where we are more stressed out as a society than any other before us. The world we live in is fast paced and the expectations of us are endless.  The stress and the worry of what comes next or how we may find the means, mentally, physically and financially to tackle the next hurdle that comes our way. As an enthusiast of positive living, I came across a great little quote that made me stop and think. It was short and simple and stopped me in my tracks. It applies if you are religious or not. “Have you prayed about it as much as you have talked about it?” Um, well…probably not- good point. Imagine how many minutes a day we think and apply our mental energy to worrying about a problem. Problems will always find us. That is life and no one is immune to problems. If you are alive, you are going to have problems; it’s as simple as that.

 

It is all in the way we handle these problems. Imagine if you had to count the minutes of just one day that you were worried about an issue. It pops into your mind over and over throughout the day. If you add up all these minutes, how long have you spent worrying about a certain problem? Fifteen minutes? Thirty minutes? An hour? Or more? Instead of worrying about those problems, it may be best to cut out that middle man of worrying, and spend those minutes or hours with positive thoughts to the situation. If you are a praying type of person, pray every time that thought comes into your mind. It’s all about being proactive instead of being reactive.

 If prayer isn’t your thing, restate the thought that entered your mind and turn it into a positive stream of consciousness. Instead of how am I going to do x, y, and z followed by a series of minutes wasted worrying, rephrase it.  “I am fully equipped and able to handle issues x, y, and z. I will come up with a great solution. A positive outcome is on its way and the answer will come to me, be revealed, etc…” Positive thoughts and words by nature attract positive energy into the situation, while negative thoughts attract negative energy into the situation. Make a conscious choice on how you will spend your minutes and how you think of a situation. Life happens anyway, we have the choice to cut out the middle man – worry- and go straight for a positive solution. Spend those extra minutes doing something you love.

The power of thoughts and words is quite shocking. Japanese Scientist Dr. Masaru Emoto did an experiment on the power of positive thinking on water, proving that it literally changes the structure and health of organic matter. His findings are stunning- as you can see them scientifically for yourself. Take a look at this link and see the photos and the video. It is quote stunning.

 

http://www.positive-thinking-principles.com/dr-masaru-emoto.html

More on Restoration

"When we are tired, defeated, and dispirited, it is not necessary to languish in this condition. Turn the faculty of your attention to some nobler dream or aspiration within you. Bestow upon this the full measure of available energy, and experience rest and refreshment. We are not tired because we serve the laws of the universe; rather we are exhausted because we try to live well without fully maturing the soul. We all have many things to attend to, but let us never be so busy that we neglect the integration of the inner life."

- Manly P. Hall

We all live in a fast paced world that keeps on changing daily, and not always for the better. In the midst of technology that is supposed to be making our lives easier, we are more stressed out than ever and have less time on our hands. It should come as no surprise that we all feel like we are running on empty- ladling coffee and energy drinks down our throats just to keep up and make it through the day. We rarely feel truly refreshed and natural energy is severely lacking. We all know how hard we tend to run our cell phones, with batteries that barely hold a charge for more than a day, if that. I know my Iphone has to be charged at least once a day. I have an obtuse obsession for checking myphone every 2.3 seconds for the latest Facebook comment on a thread, incessant texting and snapping photos with Instagram. With all that draining the battery, we would be fools to believe that our phones would not need to be charged. On the same note, we are definitely FOOLS to believe that we can continue the way we are going without recharging our battery, so to speak.  Something has to give. Dedicate a few minutes a day to recharging your energy and your mind.

          The spirit cannot function at an optimum level of efficiency if it is constantly running on low energy vibes. Find something that works for you. There is no one right answer. If you are religious, pray. If you are spiritual, meditate. If you are none of the above, clear your mind for a few moments and take a deep breath. Regroup your thoughts, have appreciation for the good things in your life and set a positive intention for the day. There needs to be some sort of checkpoint where you return to for a positive reinforcement, whatever that may be to you. A few brief moments of centering and focusing your thoughts can give you just the charge you need to take on whatever life throws at you. There is too much take in the environment around us, and not enough giving back to recharge us, a huge lack or self-restoration. Participate in a few moments of restoration a day, it is one of the few expended energies that will give back to you.

Be Happy NOW

"Many people think that if they were only in some other place, or had some other job, they would be happy. Well, that is doubtful. So get as much happiness out of what you are doing as you can and don't put off being happy until some future date."

Dale Carnegie

Happiness is nothing more than a simple choice. It seems as though we are all chasing the dreams of some unattainable happiness, or a happiness that is somewhere off in the distance. Most of us feel that we are missing that essential something to make us happy. If only I had my dream job, that new car, a bigger house, if you got down to the size you were in high school, or had the perfect partner. We all tend to live in the tense of only “IF” and “WHENS”. Those are quite irrelevant when you stop and think of it. There are those at this very moment dying of some terrible disease, wishing they still had the ability to be present in the now and have the physical and mental stamina to do what they loved or always wanted to do, but never did. Enjoy your presence in this life NOW, and don’t put off living fully until you meet criteria X, Y, and Z. It would be unfortunate to find out that after attaining any of your criteria, that X, Y, and Z never mattered anyhow and you could have had all of this happiness in the meantime. Make the choice to be happy in the now. Exist in this moment and decide that it is going to be great!

Harmony and Happiness

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.

~ Mahatma Gandhi

When any of the above combinations are not matching up- it causes a great imbalance within the self which leads to unhappiness. Satisfaction comes from honesty with the self. Happiness can only arrive when a person is comfortable with his or her authentic self in any light- to include public and private aspects of the self. A perfect life and a perfect self are unattainable because it is not realistic. The key to attaining the harmony is balance. If there is an area of your life out of balance, take a few moments to analyze it and see how it can be balanced out to be something you are more comfortable with.

Perpetual self-improvement and higher goals and ideals lead to better a better quality of life. The definition of insanity, according to Einstein, is doing something repeatedly the same way expecting different results. Life is a changeable force. Most situations can be changed for the better- but only IF you want them to change. It is often the case that people complain, and when provided with solutions to their problems, do not want to remedy the situation in any way shape or form. Some individuals enjoy perpetual problems and a consistent amount of drama in their lives. There are those who thrive on this type of energy. If there is an issue in your life, and you claim you want to change it, but haven’t yet- ask yourself why? Is there something you are getting out of the perpetual problems? Are you enjoying some aspect of it at some level? That may be the case, because if it weren’t you may have resolved the issues long ago.

 Cut out unhealthy patterns and negative energies to make room for healthier life patterns and energies that draw in the positive. If you took the time to look up from whatever it was you’ve been fiddling with the last whoever knows how long, you might see there is a bigger and better world out there other than that irrelevant thing on your mind you’ve been obsessing over. Out with the old that is not working for you and in with the possibility of new; balance the aspects of your life out and enjoy the harmony. Happiness and endless good are abundant energies if we only took half the energy to tap into them that we put into other things. A few moments a day to partake in some self-analysis could be the key to your success.

By J. Brochu

Become Wise

If you keep on saying things are going to be bad, you have a good chance of being a prophet.   - Isaac Bashevis Singer

Begin to be the speaker of all good things. Dismantle negative talk, words and attitudes in the world around you. Create your own reality. Speak into existence all of the good you want to see and be a part of.  Become the positive energy people look forward to being around.

Gibran on Love

“Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.”
― Khalil Gibran, The Prophet

Identifying Teachers

“Enemies turned into friends,

because these disturbances and

antagonistic forces have

becomeour teachers’. “ - unknown

We run into them all over. They are unavoidable and always will be. They may be friends, acquaintances, strangers, and even family. We recognize them easily- they are seas pools of negativity, dark clouds follow them wherever they go, sometimes they suck the air right out of the room; but contrary to popular belief, these people are potentially very significant. Individuals such as this could be providing a very valuable lesson you must learn, if you choose to.

In observing such characters- we may be able to take in lessons on how not to be or how not to act- these people can be a great example of who we do not want to be. A glimpse of their subpar behavior can be a great motivator to kick up your character and morality a notch or two, or just rekindle your stance on the importance of what it is to be GOOD in nature.

These “teachers” can also give us valuable lessons on how to deal with anger (refer to a previous blog entitled GRAIN OF SALT). But most importantly, these characters can always teach the valuable lessons of forgiveness, which I believe is one of the essential key factors in the development of the human condition. It involves the removal of the ego and overzealous self-thought and sending healing and positive vibes to those who have in our opinions, violated some common code of ethic and trespassed against us. The hardest and most valuable lesson- to remove yourself from the role of the victim, and choose to see a bigger picture of humanity. Everyone deserves to be loved, and people who we feel may not deserve it. Forgiveness takes any power they have to harm you, whether it was the intention or not.

You never know what someone else is going through. “Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle.” –Aesop. This doesn’t give people the right to act however they please, or give them an excuse, but it is a thought to ponder when interacting with others. Everyone perceives life through the filters they have created from their own experiences.  It is a reminder to not take everything that comes our way so personally. We have all acted ugly at some point or another, and in my experience I have always excelled more so as a person when met with positivity, rather than an adverse counter reaction of the same negative tone I was giving out. We are here to help one another, and as my Oma always used to tell me, often those who appear the least loveable, need it the most. I’ll admit that I don’t always like being reminded of that, but she has a very wise point. Once you choose to react differently to these individuals, there is a fair chance that they may make a change for the better. So at the end of the day it’s wisest to give thanks to our “teachers”, if you choose to acknowledge them as such.

By Jenny Brochu

Hope everyone has a wonderful day! Hope it is filled with positivity and productiveness.

Grain of Salt

“Man suffers only because he takes to seriously what the gods made for fun.” –Alan Wilson Watts

When it’s all said and done, when we are at the end of our lives, looking back- imagine all of the wasted time and energy we have spent taking life too seriously. Certain things, of course, by their very natures are meant to take in all seriousness. However, for the most part, they are not. If we take the minutes a day that we spend wasting being upset about something we cannot change, add those minutes to hours, and those hours to days- and for some, perhaps even those days to years. That is a lot of time spent frustrated, upset and angry. There are going to be some times that anger is merited and cannot be chosen- but for the most part, our anger and frustration is all in how we take things, and many are taking it all way to seriously. I am quite certain, that if many souls could come back to this lifetime, they would chose to do a few things differently- mainly taking more things with a grain of salt. Too much time has been spent in anger and frustration, and if given the chance again, most would choose to take back that time, and spend it with those important to them. Anger would be more easily dissolved and skated past. Most things that provoke our inner anger is irrelevant in the long run.

One of my favorite books, Cow in the Parking Lot, teaches us that Anger is always sprouted from one thing and one thing alone- an unmet demand.  We have in our minds at all times, demands that we think and feel should be met, and when someone does not meet that demand- we become upset and angry. What is worse is that rarely we make others aware of what our demands are. We make assumptions and believe they should know what we want and read our minds. Ergo, we are half guilty of the anger we are currently harboring, because no one really knew they failed to meet a certain demand. The second part of our being guilty of harboring anger is choice- anger is a choice- yes it is a human natural reaction, and everyone gets angry. But more often than not, it is because we choose to keep those feeling close to us. We choose to be angry and choose to be the victim of circumstance.  I am personally guilty of all the above.

The synopsis for Cow In the Parking Lot is this- You’ve been circling around for what seems like an eternity for a parking space, finally you spot one. You put your blinker on and wait patiently for that car to back out so that you can pull in. The car finally backs out, and out of nowhere, another car pulls around and parks in your spot. This would immediately piss anyone off. So you sit there, stewing. You want to take some sort of revenge. Scenarios float through the mind of things one could do to get back at them….nasty note leaving, keying of the car, perhaps even slashing of tires to be extreme….However more of those things change the situation. Your parking space is gone and any revenge ideas you may have will just lead to more anger and negativity. Let’s say you took revenge in some form. The person comes out to find the revenge and then they get pissed off. They drive home cutting people off, etc. The someone that got cut off, gets upset, they go home and yell at their spouse. The spouse is now upset, so they yell at the kid. Now the anger has perpetuated to the kid, who kicks the dog. The anger perpetuates in many many directions, all due to one negative event.

Now imagine the same scenario, you are waiting on that parking space, blinker on ready to be on your way with your daily business, when out of nowhere, a cow walks into the parking spot you were waiting for, and lies down. This promotes a different level of WTF. Slight annoyance with a side of funny- at how random that was. But the bottom line is- your parking spot is still taken. You still can’t park there. The difference is in the reaction- it is more light hearted. The cow in the parking space moves you less than the inconsiderate human being that took the space. The cow is oblivious to what it has done. Same for the person who took the space – either oblivious to the event or worse in that they don’t care. It is always our choice in how we react. Our reactions always perpetuate a chain reaction of energy.

The people in our lives are much like the Cow in the Parking lot, unaware that their actions have any effects on anyone else, and furthermore, just like the cow, lack any capability of the sheerest comprehension of it. Always bless them with positivity. And of course there are those who are beyond aware of their actions and negativity, people such as this need to be blessed even more so. Furthermore, it is of the utmost importance to lead by example, in doing the right so that those around us may see what it looks like, in the even they ever choose to never join us. One must always be the change in the world we want to see. We are responsible for the energy we bring into a room, no matter what is going on. One can choose to be moved by negativity, or one can choose to pave a new way of positivity. Chances are most of those we want to blast out may never fully comprehend our points anyway, which causes us more distress and frustration for us. Choose your battles in that respect. Know when to hold, and when to fold. Anger is a low level energy, it is heavy and stagnant. I’d rather not carry around the dead weight. I choose to live in the moment and be present. Smile and laugh at those around you. Engage with the souls that are accounted for here in the now. Life is too short to take it all too seriously!

“The world is, of course, nothing but our conception of it.”- Anton Chekov

Hope everyone has a wonderfully productive day. Choose to be great and flourish!

By J. Brochu

On Love

Real love is selfless and free from fear. It pours itself out upon the object of its affection, without demanding any in return. Its joy is in its giving. Love is the infinite in manifestation, and the strongest and most magnetic force in the universe. Pure, unselfish, Love draws itself its own; and does not need to seek or demand. Scarcely has anyone the faintest conception of real love. Man is selfish, tyrannical or fearful of his affections, thereby losing the thing he loves.  

 Jealousy is the worst enemy of love, for the imagination runs riot, seeing the loved one attracted to another, and invariably these fears objectify if they are not neutralized.

You can never receive what you have never given. Give a perfect love and you will receive a perfect love. 

No man is your friend; no man is your enemy. Every man is your teacher. 

-F. S. Schinn

On Love

"To love a person is to learn the song that is in their heart, and to sing it to them when they have forgotten." - Anonymous

Love is....

If we took out the self-centered ego out of love- this is what we would be left with. Love is all too often consisted of getting even and keeping score. Tisk Tisk and shame on all of us. That was never meant to be the case. Open your hearts and eyes to what could be and what should be. Animals- of course- are always our best teachers when it comes to love. They love without conditions & are eternally happy to see us no matter what we are or who we are. Quite Beautiful!

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not

rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love

does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always

hopes, and always perseveres.”
― Anonymous

In hopes of a beautiful day filled with positivity, love and hope.

Love, Anyway

“People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.”

― Mother Teresa

Here is to a new day- a fresh start- the choice to make it a great day! May it be a productive and flourishing day!

“The man who leads the orchestra must turn his back toward the crowd.”

– Unknown.

 

In the midst of my dabbling in esoteric things, I wanted to find out what my personal number in numerology was. I was convinced that it must be a 7. 7 is my favorite number by far- and the meaning- even better: the eternal student/philosopher/quest for knowledge/The thinker….  Totally me! Upon researching it- turns out- I’m not a 7 at all. Sniff Sniff. In fact, I’m a 6. Meehhh. OK- so what’s a six and why am I telling you this? I think there is an important lesson that needs to be learned by a 6-and I think at some level- we all are a little 6.

 

Traits of a 6:

The Life Path 6 suggests that you entered this plane with tools to become the ultimate nurturer, and a beacon for truth, justice, righteousness, and domesticity. Your paternal, or maternal, as the case may be, instincts with a 6 Life Path exceed all others by a considerable margin. Whether in the home or in the work place, you are the predominant caretaker and family head. While the 6 may assume significant responsibilities in the community, the life revolves around the immediate home and family, for this is the most domestic of numbers. Conservative principles and convictions are deeply ingrained and define your character.

You are idealistic and must feel useful to be happy. The main contribution you make is that of advice, service, and ever present support. You are a humanitarian of the first order. It is your role to serve others, and you start in the home environment. You are very human and realistic about life, and you feel that the most important thing in your life is the home, the family and the friends.

This is the Life Path related to leadership by example and assumption of responsibility, thus, it is your obligation to pick up the burden and always be ready to help. If you are like the majority with Life Path 6, you are one who will willingly carry far more than your fair share of any load, and you are always there when needed. In doing so, you take ownership and often become an authority over the situation.

In romance, the 6 is loyal and devoted. A caretaker type, you are apt to attract partners who are somewhat weaker and more needy than yourself; someone you can care for and protect. The main ingredient that must prevail in the relationship is complete harmony. You don't function well in stressful relationships that become challenges for you to control. It is the same with friends, you are loyal and trustworthy. But there is a tendency for you to become dominating and controlling.

It's likely you feel compelled to function with strength and compassion. You are a sympathetic and kind person, generous with personal and material resources. Wisdom, balance, and understanding are the cornerstones of your life, and these define your approach to life in general. Your extraordinary wisdom and the ability to understand the problems of others is apt to commence from an early age. This allows you to easily span the generation gap and assume an important role in life early on.

The number 6 Life Path actually produces few negative examples, but there are some pitfalls peculiar to the path. You may have a tendency to become overwhelmed by responsibilities and a slave to others; especially members of you own family or close friends. It's easy for you to fall into a pattern of being too critical of others; you also have a tendency to become too hard on yourself. The misuse of this Life Path produces tendencies for you to engage in over-expansiveness and self-righteousness. Modesty and humility may not flow easily. Imposing one's views in an interfering or meddling way must be an issue of concern.

The natural burdens of this number are heavy, and on rare occasions, responsibility is abdicated by persons with this Life Path 6. This rejection of responsibility will make you feel very guilty and uneasy, and it will have very damaging effects upon your relationships with others.

In the midst of needing to be this caring helpful soul- there is that fine line between helping and interfering – or loosing yourself in the battle of trying to help. There is nothing more in the world I love doing than helping someone else. Especially those close to me. I am a natural born problem solver and if I can’t help someone, it just frustrates the hell out of me, especially if there is an easy solution-but people choose not to resolve their issues. It took me a while to realize that some people do not want your help- no matter how much they complain and grip about their situations or circumstances.

Even more mind boggling- I truly believe that some people THRIVE on having something to complain about or being the perpetual victim of life. How could this be? It makes my eye twitch and keeps me up at night. That is one thing I cannot fully wrap my mind around. Solutions everywhere but not one step in the right direction to take any of them. Some people prefer to stay lying on the ground when life knocks them down. The difference is to recognize those who actually do need your help ask those ask for it from the ones who don’t want your help and never asked- a concept that has never occurred to me until recently. EEEkkkkkk. So what now?  Let people live their lives and learn their own lessons. By attempting to interfere in someone’s problems, you may be robbing them of a very important lesson they are intended to learn on their own and very much need.

Have a flourishing Day! Be kind, do your best, smile because you woke up to one more day! New opportunities all around you!

 

What number are you??

http://www.astrology-numerology.com/num-lifepath.html#lp7

Oh the things you can find...

Oh the things you can find
If you don't stay behind!
In the places I go there are things that I see
That I never could spell if I stopped with the Z.
I'm telling you this 'cause you're one of my friends.
My alphabet starts where your alphabet ends!
So, on beyond Z!
It's high time you were shown
That you really don't know
All there is to be known.

- Dr. Suess, On Beyond Zebra 1954

Preventing Ego From Destroying Love

I was going to write about the dangers of the Ego today, however I ran across this article before I began to write that hit the nail on the head. The Ego at times can be such a dangerous thing, keeping us from authentic loving relationships with those around us. It reeks havoc in the department of forgiveness and at times keeps us from being free and enlightened beings.

The article is a bit long, but worth the read when you have the time to sit and take a few moments.

Hope everyone has a great Friday- filled with positive thoughts and ideas.

Preventing Ego From Destroying Love

By Arlene F. Harder, MA, MFT

 

This article, based on an imagery exercise I created with the same title, comes from very personal experience. I have allowed my Ego to dominate more than one argument. As I've learned over the years, however, it's more fun to be loved than to always be right. Besides, on closer examination, some of my strongly held opinions turn out to be quite wrong, or at least less accurate than I once insisted they were.

Since symbols and images are often catalysts for I have used the ideas discussed here to prevent some of the blocks that my Ego places in my path.

Full of Hot Air

I will freely admit that my Ego has led me astray more times than I can count. Each time I've faced my Ego directly, however, I've been able to put it in its place, although over the years it has changed shape.

At one time, my Ego looked much like a short Rumpelstiltskin character, demanding I get my way. Another time it was a petulant schoolgirl stamping her foot, demanding I get my way. The last time I looked, it was a blustery balloon (like those in Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade) that was full of hot air, but still demanded I get my way. In all these permutations, I could see that Ego wanted me to win because she/he/it was afraid of what would happen if I didn't -- I would be hurt. What my Ego failed to see was that I got hurt anyway. That's because I didn't get what I really wanted from winning - the sense of being loved and connected with others.

Now that I have a better grasp on how much my Ego is made up of hot air, I'm often able to return to disagreements that have ended unsatisfactorily and get what I really want from my friends and my spouse - love, respect, understanding, and the ability to reach amicable compromises.

Incidentally, you may notice that I capitalize the word "Ego." This is because I want to emphasis the part of the ego that interferes with relationships, claims we're more important than we really are, and is reluctant to see things from the other guy's point of view.

When You Think You're Right

Most of us would agree that the ideal conclusion to a disagreement is one in which both people feel satisfied with the resolution or, at the very least, understand and respect one another. Certainly I like to win an argument if we have exchanged strongly held points of view and thrashed out issues. Then it feels good if the other person genuinely changes his or her opinion because of my logic.

But what happens when the conflict is not resolved amicably? What if one person insists on winning and the other gives in just to keep the peace? When that happens to you, are you usually the winner or the reluctant loser? In either case, you believe the other person is wrong. After all, if you thought he or she was right, there wouldn't have been a disagreement in the first place.

Unfortunately, disagreements that end this way prevent us from getting what we want from friendship and family relationships: respect, a sense of closeness, shared pleasure and the freedom to be ourselves. With our primary partner, we also want sexual intimacy. However, if our opinions are discounted, if we discount the opinions of the other person, if we allow the other to win only because that person is demanding, or if we don't know how to express ourselves well enough to make our position understood, distance is sure to grow between us. Even if we win the skirmish, the casualty is usually high - a rift in the fabric of love and friendship.

It's the Ego, Stupid

The problem, not surprisingly, is that constantly demanding companion, Ego, although, it would have us believe that any problems are caused by the other person's ego. It encourages us to think, "I wouldn't feel so defensive and so misunderstood if he were just willing to see his blind spots, or if she were just willing to admit my point of view is valid." Our Ego doesn't encourage us to say, "Maybe we could have solved this disagreement if only I were more open to seeing my blind spots, or only if I could admit that the other person has a valid point."

The Ego is only doing its job, of course, which is to give us a sense of self and protect us from pain. It has decided that we can only feel good about ourselves if we think we are right. It has also decided that it's much less painful to see other people as defensive than it is to examine what we might have done that caused them to feel that way. It is easier to claim that someone doesn't understand us than it is to examine what we might have said that contributed to any misunderstanding. After all, we assume we have perfectly logical reasons for our opinions. We fail to understand that the other person might have equally good reasons for believing otherwise.

It may be difficult to admit we aren't as open to learning as we could be. But when we're willing to set aside the assumption that the other person is automatically wrong, we are more apt to reach a conclusion that is satisfying to both of us.

There is an even more important reason for learning from disagreements, which is knowing what causes us to get hooked in the first place and how other people get hooked by us. Once we know what sets us off, we can disconnect our "buttons," so someone won't get a reaction if they push them (intentionally or otherwise) in the future. However, since it can take a while to disconnect all our buttons, Unhooking the Velcro Syndrome can show you what to do if you get caught in old reactions.

Remember Your Last Unsatisfactory Argument?

One of the easiest ways to control your Ego the next time you get into a disagreement is to examine what happened the last time you had an argument that ended poorly. You remember, that one in which you felt misunderstood and unappreciated, even if you got your way. If the other person got his or her way and you outwardly agreed to it, did you only do so to end the argument? As you reexamine this situation, first notice what your attitude was when you realized you had different points of view. Was it your intention to learn something about the other person's viewpoint or just to prove a point of your own?

Next, take an honest look at how the disagreement ended. How did you feel toward the other person? How did that person react to you?

It may not be easy for you to be truthful. The Ego makes it hard for lots of us. But until you are willing to risk the possibility that your Ego may have led you astray, you are less likely to have the kind of relationship you really want, especially if you want greater intimacy. Even more, until you are honest, others may feel no reason to be open, either.

A Symbol of the Ego

To help you set the stage for friendly conflict resolution in the future, use your imagination to return to the conflict you are remembering. Pretend that the other person is seated at a table across from you (even if the argument happened in the middle of a store or other place without a table). In the air hangs the conclusion that feels unfinished and/or uncomfortable to you and, probably, to the other person as well. Imagine further that you excuse yourself for a moment, get up from the table and go into a room nearby and close the door.

As you sit down in the other room, you may notice that your Ego has followed. It wants to rehash the argument and give you additional ammunition to prove the other person is wrong. Possibly you can even use your imagination to see this Ego character in your mind's eye.

As silly as this suggestion may seem, it works for many of my clients because it seems to help them separate that part of them that wants to win (their Ego) from their more accommodating nature (their Love). Once they realize they can distance from their Ego, even if it means turning it into an imaginary figure, they find it easier to keep it in perspective. However, don't worry if you don't come up with an image you can see in your mind's eye. The important thing is to get a sense that your over-consuming Ego tries very hard to convince you the other person is wrong.

Putting Ego in Its Place

After you create an imaginary Ego, you will probably notice that it is still wound up from wanting to win the argument. So I suggest you get further distance from the insistent Ego by taking a very deep breath and exhaling slowly through your mouth, as though you're blowing gently on a candle flame. This can be your signal to release some of the tension Ego has created and to acknowledge your willingness to look at the situation in a more objective way. (Incidentally, if you practice this a number of times, you can use it during real arguments to stop your Ego from taking over so easily.)

Once you are more relaxed, you will discover that it's a great deal easier to control this Ego that gets you in trouble. In fact, the next step is to tell your Ego to be quiet. There are several ways to do this. Some people I have worked with stop the Ego's chatter by asking firmly and with authority. Others have to say "SHUT UP!" Still others, before getting their Ego to quiet down, first have to acknowledge their Ego for preventing them from being walked all over by another person. Whatever technique you choose, you'll have to stand firm. The Ego loves coming back and rehashing old arguments.

Having dismissed your Ego, take a moment to collect your thoughts. Objectively notice the fears and insecurities stirred up in both of you by the argument. Taking time to explore these issues when you are away from the other person will help when you return to the other room -- especially when you prevent the Ego from interfering.

A Symbol of What You Want

When I began this article, I talked about the positive qualities we would like to have in our relationships, qualities like respect, understanding, love, give-and-take, easy companionship. What symbol might represent these goals for you? For example, you may envision friendship, love and harmony as something like a sphere, whole and smooth. Perhaps it might be more traditional, like the gift of a beautiful flower. Get as clear a sense of your image as you can, for it will play an important role in helping you solve problems, not only with the person with whom you've been reviewing an argument, but with many others as well.

Returning to the Scene of the Disagreement

The next step in this practice of preventing Ego from destroying love is to imagine you return once more to the room where the other person is waiting. As you again take your seat, pretend you place on the table - right there between you - the image you have just created. In fact, you can't see the other person without also noticing this image of respect, understanding, wholeness and love. True, the symbol is "just" in your imagination, but such "made up" ideas are great substitutes for an Ego that is very willing to separate you into camps of right and wrong.

In fact, I suggest you take a moment (right now might be a good time) to experience what it would be like to really and truly hold in your mind an image of the goal you have for your relationship. You might even want to imagine you are discussing something about which you have differences of opinion.

Now, with the image on the table between you, imagine you say something like the following:

"It doesn't feel good to have our disagreement end as it did. I want to return to the topic, not to increase pressure on you so that I can win, but to explore why it was so important for me to feel I was right. I also want to understand how my opinions and the way I presented them affected you, and why you believe as you do, for you surely have good reasons for your position, just as I have good reasons for mine."

You don't need to remember these specific words when you use this technique in a real situation. You only have to convey your intention, which is to let the other person know you want to learn from your disagreement.

It is possible, of course, that the other person will refuse to discuss the topic again. But even if the other person is not open to helping you learn and your relationship does not survive, you will have discovered a great deal. Learning about yourself is never a waste of time and energy. What you learn can be used in future relationships.

By the way, this technique is not limited to close relationships. It can also be applied to coworkers, neighbors or anyone else with whom you might have disagreements. These people may not be willing to explore the issues that cause you, or them, to feel defensive or demanding. In some cases it may not be appropriate to pursue the issue further.

Remember, if you dismiss your Ego during disagreements, you will have a fair chance of avoiding an unsatisfactory ending to your argument. For example, sometimes I've imagined that I've sent my Ego out of the room, and have watched in my mind's eye as the inflated Ego balloon floats out the door. (Unfortunately, I don't remember to do this often enough.)

If you keep in mind what you want from a relationship and work on controlling your Ego, you will have a good chance of having warm, loving friendships.

3 Easy Solutions

I now exercise my fearless faith in three ways- by thinking, speaking and acting. I am unmoved by appearances, therefore appearances move.

–Scovel Schinn

Today is a new day- completely separate from yesterday. Whatever disappointments are in the past- keep them there! The future has not happened yet- but the moment is in the now! Live in the present knowing that anything you desire in life IS possible and when you set the standard for attaining your goals and desires- they will be sure to manifest.

To ensure a positive future- you must exercise the moment in the following three ways- by thinking, speaking and acting in positive and productive ways toward your goals.

If your current appearances do not reflect those ideals, and you implement changes in this moment by thinking, speaking and acting- appearances will move in the right direction soon after.

There is NO SUCH THING as LACK or LIMITATION- if you think, speak and act all positive things into creation. Your energy will shift toward a different energy frequency of positivity and you will attract only what you think, speak and act of that positive nature.

MONITER your thoughts, words and actions- make sure they are all of the highest ideals, in positive form only and never hint to any lack or limitation. This includes thoughts of ourselves and thoughts of others. Keep the energy positive and it will move quicker and spread faster – as it has a higher vibration frequency- than any negative thought ever could.



I hope everyone has a wonderful day and lives in the present moment in a positive and productive way- ensuring a future beyond your greatest expectations.

Solitude within the Multitude

     What do you see when you look at this painting? Most would say they see a man and a woman sitting together in a room- but if you take a closer look, you will see what Edward Hopper was conveying in this scene. Hopper is one of my new favorite American Artists. I am haunted by the message he is conveying here in this piece- along with many of his other works. Here Hopper is conveying the concept of which I think we all can connect to “the Solitude within the multitude.” In this scene there is a disconnect between the man and the woman. The man is reading his paper and the woman is keying piano chords. They are in the same room, yet turned away from one another, absorbed in their own thoughts and their own worlds. This is a great example of how we all have massively valuable people around us, we are never truly alone, yet we all often feel alone- the solitude within the multitude. We often feel a disconnection toward other people and isolate ourselves from a potentially great life. This is often a silent, unconscious choice that we have a habit of making- at least that is the way it seems to go for me.



     For me this painting is a great reminder that we do not have to be a solitude within the multitude (although some alone time can be the most fabulous thing on the planet, but that is not what I am talking about here), there are a lot of great people and wonderful things around us if we just allow ourselves to open our eyes to it. When I see Hoppers work, it makes me want to connect to people again. There is a massive disconnection in the world, and I think it’s time we all make an attempt to reconnect once again- to family, friends, and strangers on the street. Just a simple smile can make a huge difference in someone’s day. Any act of kindness is never wasted.


On this subject, the following quote comes to mind:


“For every man is a golden link in the chain of my good.” -Scovell Schinn


     It conveys that we are all connected, no matter who we are or how removed we are from each other. We are all living breathing creatures who all deserve loving kindness- the neighbor across the street, the jack wagon that cut you off in traffic, even the bully who made your life a living hell in high school.


     I suggest you give it a whirl. Connect with humanity once again and be present in the moment where ever you are- and smile. We all have a lot to be thankful for.

The Proof is in the Pudding

Today I am extremely excited for one of my Best Friends Billy, who, by using the powers for positive thoughts, affirmations and prayers has landed his dream job in the Hustle and Bustle of New York City. About a year ago, he decided to leave Atlanta and venture on a journey to New York-a feat in and of itself. I am not sure if I would have had the gaul to leave my safely net here and just get up and go- but he did. He left the comforts and financial luxury of home for a life of the unknown.


Recently he had been working at a job not utilizing his advanced degrees at a medical office- just to pay the bills and be able to get by. He had been applying and interviewing for jobs around the city for almost a year and was feeling drained after not hearing back from various positions. Billy had always been a positive and uplifting person- one of the reasons I love him so dearly. But even the best of the best get dragged down by life and a series of disappointments. Add insult to injury, he had been informed that he would be laid off in the next coming weeks. After a distraught phone call from my dearest friend, which by the way is rare, I decided to send him a copy of one of my all time favorite books I was re-reading, The Writings of Florence Scovell Schinn, an innovative writer, philosopher and metaphysician from the turn of the century. Her writings are based on a lot of things we already know, but she takes these concepts and puts in them in a way they are better understood. Many of the concepts have Christian undertones, but even if you are not Christian or religious, these are just semantics and the concepts can be understood and applied even if you do not subscribe to that particular doctrine.
Upon receiving the book, Billy immediately began to read it and apply the concepts of positive thought and affirmation. He would call and we would discuss our readings together and what he was doing to produce positive changes for his life. We both began to pray for the “RIGHT” job for him- a job that would allow him to use his degrees and move up to the next level-a job that he could learn and grow and be happy at. Using the following quotes and similar ones, he began to visualize the right job for himself. In addition to this, he gave thanks in advance for the right job and went upon the faith knowing that the infinite spirit was never too late and that the right job would be provided. If indeed there was a job in NCY for him, he would find it in perfect ways under perfect grace. He began interviewing again but with a different outlook on life- one of positivity and grace.


“The spirit is never too late. I give thanks to the ….received on the invisible plane and that is manifests on time.”


Then Billy set a start date in his mind and wrote it down that he would be starting his new dream job on March 5th, 2012. Using laws of the following quote:


“Man must prepare for the things he has asked for, even if there isn’t the slightest sign of it in sight. “


He started looking for apartments and enjoying the city for what it was and left his negative thinking and worries behind. On March 12th, one week after he had set his goal to start his dream job, he received a phone call and was offered a position of Practice Manager of the Department of Neurology at Mount Sinai. I couldn’t be more proud of him! I am so excited for him and he could not be more deserving. This is just the tip of the ice berg on all the wonderful things that are coming his way.
Just a glimpse of what the powers of positive thinking can do!


Here is a link of some of Schnn's affirmations and quotes listed by catagory:


http://www.florence-scovel-shinn.com/florence-scovel-shinn-affirmations-success.html


Hope everyone has a wonderfully productive and positive day!

Manifest

“Whatever one feels deeply or images clearly

 is impressed upon the subconscious mind

and carried out in minute detail"

 ~

Florence Scovel Schinn 
Be mindful of your thoughts today. Clear out any negative thoughts, concepts, ideas, banter and self talk. Open your mind and thoughts to positive energy and create the existence you want for yourself. Nothing is unattainable. There is a supply for every demand.






Have a Wonderful and Productive Wednesday.